Dawns Dreams

Paul Kelly - Peace III

I am up at 2am. Reminiscing to acoustic music that does nothing but overload my brain with unrealistic thoughts and prepare me for another nightmare. 

19 and a half years of age, I know myself that I haven't half endured what life has to offer. Nonetheless, the journey so far has been unexpected to say the least. You greet, you meet, you love and then you lose. 

Like the juice you drink and the food you eat, no matter how much you enjoy it and devour it, it'll finish and you'll move onto another piece. Yet you can't forget the taste it left in your tongue - the bitter sweet taste that always had you going back for more. 

It's human nature to cling onto what you know, onto the things that you turned to when you were sad or laugh with when you made a joke; it is human nature to be wrapped so tightly around this thing that comforts you, this thing that sees you. 

'Just do it, everyone else does'

Adolescence taught me one thing: there is no such thing as peer pressure if you subconsciously contemplate it. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't contemplation if you are surrounded by teens that systematise drugs, partying, sex, rebellion - you grow in that commune thinking that you're living in normality. Having been around different cultures, I suppose that the normality of a pubescent teen of any culture is nonconformity.

To conform or to not conform, that is the question. 

Either way, you are not you. 

'Ohh Jane so what? Next thing you know you'll be old and laugh about it'

This is the greet part. Along the journey you fall for crushes, make new friends, fall in love. Hoping that someone had warned you (or somehow drilled it into your stone-hard head) that the chances of it ending in holding hands, skipping towards the horizon in the spring breeze during sunset, you might have... MIGHT... have gone about everything differently. 

Your first impression is everything. Remember nonconformity? Be you. That girl in class that got all the boys? They don't want her now. That boy that played all the girls? They don't want him now. 

But who dares leak their deepest, darkest, inner thoughts. Everything that you're surrounded by is all fun and games until you're stuck in the tide - what makes them think you will laugh about it? I hurt him along the way. Now you're the one hurting.  

Now that I met you, I'm on lockdown. Well now that you see me through a clear glass, I will shatter this glass back to my nonconformity so you don't mock me because of me. 

'But Jane why bother? You can do so much better!'

Comments can so easily be dropped. Yes okay,  I shall nod my head along to it pretending to absorb every useless-in-the-future advice you give. Humans latch on the things that have seen them grow, because they give them that extra authenticity that they need to boost their self esteem. Not only are we subliminally insecure, we are creatures of habit. That is why we pretend to not conform, to be different... To be unique. Truth is, we are conforming and blending into the sex-driven background of this generation, we use habit as a short-cut to our excuses. 

I am up at 3am. Overthinking unrealistic thoughts and setting the story for my nightmare. I can advise myself but I do not take it, this is to the Jane in the parallel universe that is ready to hurt him. 

Sit your sorry self down. Revenge is sweet, success is sweeter. You attacked head-first straight into his sensitives, now you are wondering why and what happens next.

I won't wipe your memory, I will indulge in  it. 

My nonconformity I believed to have been so exclusive to others; strive to not be the duplicate of every typical binge-loving student, there is more to it than waking up and asking yourself why. 

Genuiness. It doesn't matter how you try to wiggle your way out of things, the past will bite you so hard on your ass that even when you're screaming... your words are silent. 

History at it again.

Șȇx Said – “I can live without bread, but cannot live without freedom”

So I scroll through Facebook, flicker through the channels on TV, turn the pages of the newspapers, and I’m greeted by the ever-so wonderful faces of George Galloway and Russell Brand. To my left, I have Mr. Galloway raging about turning Bradford into an “Israeli free-zone”… as of course, tourists thrive in Bradford. To my right, I have the controversial and meticulous Mr. Brand who hauls hefty phrases at those who don’t tickle his fancy.  

The Times – “William signs up for heir ambulance”

The Independent – “Sarah Palin follows launch of her new TV news channel by calling fellow ex-governor Jesse Ventura a 'jackass'”

Fox News – “Texas teen faces life in jail for making pot brownies”

Would you ever believe Iraq is in the midst of genocide?

It doesn’t surprise me nor you that the world we live in is slowly but most certainly spiralling in a dooming direction. Africa is on its hands and knees, as if to say the Ebola virus that’s shook them wasn’t enough; Europe is on the brink of a catastrophic war – the people are a hungry herd, awaiting the thick meat that feeds them on occasion… we forget that this meat is what we crave, it represents freedom that at every sight we see, our famished mouths salivate. My initial plans on this blog were to refrain from diving into political analysis, though I’m limiting it, some events that happen are too tragic to bypass. The subject of ‘freedom’ is a subject that is much closer to home and heart – home and heart being Kurdistan, those who have “no friends but the mountains”, those who have been exterminated, prosecuted, massacred and butchered at the hands of the world’s most empowering empires and yet today are only a milestone away from independence.

Yezidism is the last existing religion that is an offspring, if you may, of the ancient Zoroastrianism. Considered a branch of Sunni Islam, Yezidi’s worship the ‘fallen angel’, notably known as Melek Taus – though a small population, they solidify the Kurds existence. All this and for what? Their survival is endangered by a bunch of monomaniacal cavemen whose brains have been so warped they would shed their mothers blood in the name of religion. Oh, joyous diversity. The data as far show that 50,000 Yezidi’s are cornered in Sinjar as well as 500 children and women being used as concubines as fighting rages near Shingal by ISIS and Pȇshmerga. Whilst the world’s eyes zoom on Israel and Palestine, countless lives end as though they are statistics.

Talking honestly here, as politics does, the U.S. could wipe ISIS in the blink of an eye. Who are we kidding though? Do you want to be told a superpower will side-track its agenda for a life, or two, or a couple thousand? Nonetheless as a nation blossoming from the concrete, it also works in our interest to not necessarily abide, but support a hegemon with the likes of the U.S. and Israel to gain significance in a dirty game of politics. We can be an ally or simply an oily-valuable asset, Kurdistan is weak on her knees…

“I prefer liberty with danger than peace with slavery” – Jean Jacques Rousseau

A trait that every Kurd has: stubbornness. History repeats itself and more often than not we learn from it. Do Kurds? No. No, we do not. Stubborn okay, but also warm-hearted. Tony Blair, envoy to the Middle East, is conspicuous in his absence and as we fall head first into wars we ask of no help from Republicans or ‘TeaBaggies’ who babble about the cost of war and how they can’t nanny the world blah blah blah…

The ongoing collective attempts to eradicate the Yezidi people are going unnoticed as the world becomes distracted by Bieber’s current feuds and Putin’s peculiar personality. Survival of this age-old religion is crucial to remind enemies “hey! We were there too, you know!” Retaliation is what we are good at, and for every starving child and thirsty elder so ISIS will fall; perhaps what we are seeing is the unfortunate death of a religion, but certainly the birth of a long-awaited dream.

Newcomer! 

Virgin to this blogging-life, so give me a break as I indulge into a world of culture, politics, travelling and outpouring of thoughts from this 'big-tiny' mind of mine.

 

To introduce myself, I am a 19 year old adolescent making my way through life studying history and politics in the UK. To say the least, I was brought up in a manner to understand and keep in-touch with my Kurdish culture yet integrate it within European culture... and because of thaaat, my not-so-professional opinions will be here, there and everywhere. 

Here goes nothing: I consider myself an open-minded person with this little light of mine...and I'm finna let it shine (and so I will not excuse myself from dropping Kanye's lyrics in) which I call my brain. Politics is what surrounds us and what determines our future, whether you have no interest in it or it simply aggravates you, you can't deny that daily occurrences you see on TV don't touch a nerve, or in my case... beat my nerves to the ground. 

Kurdistan and the mere thought of an independent Kurdistan is in almost every Kurdish persons blood-flow; the current borders are large logs that every Kurd, and certainly Pêshmerga, are pushing, shoving and assaulting back into an area that once oppressed us. 

Before I finish, I need to make clear that if I de-rail into a heated/bitter/infuriated teen it shall only be for a short while.

The day you can send me a link of an honest politician who voices his true opinion, will be the day I no longer react to this world's hideous wars, violences and waves of oppression.